The Anime Torture Realm
by fox ears
Summary: uh oh watch out! this show is insane! you better not read it if you wanna keep yer sanity! but aside from that..... WHATS A LITTLE MORE CRAZY?!
1. We Have Issues And You Should Hear Them

Disclaimer: We wish we owned yyh but sadly we don't. T_T I shall not take all the glory for this talk show! Bat wings is real! She goes under the name of Mistress_of_the_Flame. Key word mistress. I recommend her stories as well as mine if you like this! Bat wings: welcome to today's episode of .  
  
Fox ears: THE ANIME TORTURE REALM.. doohickey.  
  
Bat wings: Today we are going to torment the characters of Yu Yu Hakusho!  
  
Fox ears: Where we torment anime characters and rob them of their sanity! We do this by asking them pointless questions and getting them to do stupid dares! I'm Fox ears the gold kitsune! And I'm incredibly annoying!  
  
Bat wings: and I'm Bat wings and... *Fox ears opens mini fridge between them and starts to chug all the Mountain Dews meant for the guests* fox ears! Stop it! *slams door on hand*  
  
*fox ears spazzes and does her one eye cross and zones out*  
  
Bat wings: Minions!! *dancing hamsters (with cattle prods) dance into the room* take her to get her hand fixed!  
  
Minions: yes milady! *dancing hamsters carry off fox ears*  
  
Bat wings: now back to the show. Our first guest. The man everyone loves to hate and everyone hates to love.. *presses button on wristwatch and glass pops up in front of the audience* Kazuma Kuwabara!  
  
Fox ears: *from a distance* BBBBOOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Audience: Bbbooooo!! Hhhiiiiiisssss!!  
  
Bat wings: minions! Bring in the prisoner... guest!  
  
*minions come in prodding Kuwabara in the butt with cattle prods. Next to them walks in fox ears*  
  
Fox ears: hi! I'm back everyone! *Fox ears fan section stand up and scream!*  
  
*Fox ears sits down*  
  
Bat wings: Kuwabara. Please sit down.  
  
*whispers to bat wings* fox ears: can I rip his legs off?  
  
Bat wings: *rolls eyes* our first question is from the member of the audience. Yes! You sir.  
  
Audience member #42: Kuwabara, Were you beat with a shovel when you young becuz you're butt ugly!  
  
Kuwabara: ummm no. I just look this way. *audience gets massive sweat drop*  
  
Fox ears: I have a question! Can I bite your leg off?!  
  
Bat wings: *pulls out Newspaper-o-Slappiness and beats fox ears severely over the head* I have a. more sensible question. Kuwabara, are you ever going to propose to Yukina?  
  
Kuwabara: yes. If Hiei heard I would probably be dead.  
  
Fox ears: *chanting* tell Hiei! Tell Hiei! Tell Hiei! Tell Hiei! Tell Hiei!  
  
Bat wings: and we'll come back after this commercial break *quick zoom in of the DANCING HAMSTER BAND!*  
  
*loud buzzer*  
  
Bat wings: ok fox ears! Go get the next guest.  
  
Fox ears: from where?  
  
Bat wings: oi! Follow me...  
  
* Bat wings and Fox ears walk back toward the green room. They enter the green room, Yusuke stares, Hiei doesn't care and Kurama waves. *  
  
Fox ears: *spots Koenma in Chibi form* aaaaaaawwwww, *kneels and pinches his cheek* OW! The little bastard bit me!  
  
Bat wings: DON'T BITE MY CO-HOST! *punts Koenma like a football*  
  
Fox ears: ooohhh, good one, you should be on a football team!  
  
Bat wings: Arigato, now, who's our next guest.  
  
Fox ears: I think it was the little guy you just kicked.  
  
Bat wings: -.-' Let's go find the little weirdo.  
  
* Looks in cupboards and finds his hat. Fox ears smells it and points to the freezer. Bat wings opens it and takes out Koenma and puts him under running water. She dries him off with a towel and puts him down. Bat wings and Fox ears walk back out onto the set. They sit down in their chairs. *  
  
5.4.3.2.1.We're on!  
  
Bat wings: okay and welcome back!  
  
Fox ears: our next guest is very bossy and has a mean bite!  
  
Bat wings: as you have probably already guessed, it's the little Chibi himself. Koenma!  
  
Audience: YYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!  
  
Koenma: Cool, I've got fans!  
  
Fox ears and Bat wings: . ^_^'  
  
*Bat wings puts Koenma on top of the mini fridge between them*  
  
Fox ears: our first question is from a member of the audience! Yes, you ma'am!  
  
Audience member #207: What up with the pacifier?  
  
Koenma: It holds my Rei energy.  
  
Bat wings: this is a personal question. ^.^' Can you change into your teenage form for me?  
  
*Everyone except Bat wings sweatdrops*  
  
Koenma: Sure. *Transforms and Bat wings attempts to glomp him*  
  
Fox ears: *mumbling* secret obsession secret obsession secret obsession. *then reaches behind Koenma and pokes him in the bum(coughitycoughcough)*  
  
Koenma: *jumps* hey! Stop that! *jumps again*  
  
Bat wings: *pulls out Newspaper-o-Slappiness* down girl!  
  
Fox ears: I have a question! Koenma, are you in love with Botan?  
  
Koenma: not really.  
  
Bat wings: well that's it for now! We'll be back after this commercial break!  
  
*loud buzzer*  
  
Bat wings: go get our next guest fox ears!  
  
Fox ears: which ones that?  
  
Bat wings: the pretty one..  
  
Fox ears: YYYYAAAYYYY!!! Ya mean Kurama?!  
  
Bat wings: NO!  
  
Fox ears: then which one? *scratches ear*  
  
Bat wings: the short pretty one.  
  
Fox ears: there aren't any fitting that description.*Still very very confused*  
  
Bat wings: *puts hand on face* just get Hiei!  
  
Fox ears: OKK! *walk into green room*  
  
Fox ears: HIEI! YOUR TURN!  
  
Hiei: ok. *stands up*  
  
Fox ears: beware of bat wings. She's obsessed with you. *as she walks behind him she hums the death march*  
  
Bat wings: is everything ready?  
  
Fox ears: yup!  
  
Camera minions: and we're on in 5. 4. 3. 2. 1..  
  
Fox ears: Welcome back! We've got a new guest now, and I had to tie Bat wings to her chair!  
  
Bat wings: Our next guest is my personal fav, he's short, he's cuter then hell, and he can get his hair to stand straight up! It's Hiei!!!  
  
Hiei's fan club: YYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY! *high pitched screaming and signs that say I luv u Hiei and such*  
  
Bat wings: MINIONS! Bring out Hiei!  
  
Dancing hamsters: *bring out Hiei and dance off-screen*  
  
Bat wings: I have a question for you Hiei. Will you marry me? ^.^  
  
Everyone except Bat wings: *anime fall*  
  
Hiei: no comment.  
  
Fox ears: I gotta question! Is there a thing between you and Kurama? Please say it ain't so!  
  
Hiei: No, Kurama and I are just friends.  
  
Fox ears: goody!  
  
Bat wings: any questions from the audience? Yes, you young man!  
  
Audience member #12: How do you get your hair like that?  
  
Hiei: Lots of gel and dye.  
  
Bat wings: time for that annoying commercial break!  
  
Fox ears: okay Hiei, it's time for you to go back to the green room!  
  
Hiei: No.  
  
Fox ears: Fine!  
  
Bat wings: *Reappears with Kurama* You sit in the chair Hiei is in. *turns to Karasu* MINIONS! BRING ANOTHER CHAIR FOR KARASU!  
  
Camera minion: we're on in 5.4.3.2.1!  
  
Bat wings: lets bring in our next guest, Kurama! * Hiei won't move, so Bat wings picks him up and holds him like a baby in her lap*  
  
Bat wings: Kurama, are you having an affair with Botan?  
  
Kurama: no.  
  
Fox ears: Time for a question from the audience. You! The cross-dresser!  
  
Cross-dresser (audience member #54): How come you look like a woman with out the make up and such?  
  
Kurama: Shiori's child would have been a girl if I hadn't came along and changed its sex so I wouldn't be a girl.  
  
Fox ears: Are you having an affair with any man from your show? Please say it ain't so!  
  
Kurama: *starts to sweat* no. ermmm... YES! ITS TRUE!  
  
Fox ears: nnooooooooo!!!!!!!!  
  
Audience member #2: *stands up* with who?!  
  
Karasu: Me!  
  
*sounds of audience members hurling sounded around the room*  
  
Fox ears: *begins whimpering and crying along with all the Kurama fans*  
  
Bat wings: oookkkkkaaayyyyy. anyone else have a question for Kurama?  
  
Hiei: Karasu wants to kill you! Why the hell would you have an affair with him?  
  
Kurama: WELL HE HAD SUCH NICE HAIR AND PURPLE EYES AND I JUST COULDN'T HELP IT! *begins to pout*  
  
Fox ears: *reaches over pats Kurama on the shoulder and sniffs* its ok. I still like you. I'll help you with therapy.  
  
Bat wings: uh fox ears. I don't think that'll help. We'll be back after this commercial break with our next guest!  
  
*loud buzzer*  
  
Bat wings: fox ears, could you possibly mop up your crying and go get our last guest. And take Karasu to the green room.  
  
Fox ears: *sniff* ok.  
  
*Back in the green room!*  
  
Fox ears: YUUSUKE! YOUR TURN!  
  
Yuusuke: hooray.  
  
*Fox ears walks behind him, which was a bad mistake for. YUUSUKE SITS IN HER CHAIR!*  
  
fox ears: HEY GET OUT OF MY CHAIR!  
  
Bat wings: just sit on the floor!  
  
Fox ears: no!  
  
Bat wings: sit!  
  
Fox ears: no!  
  
Bat wings: *glare*  
  
Fox ears: fine! *sits down. Then changes into a small fox youko and jumps into Kurama's lap*  
  
Bat wings: just push her off. *rolls eyes*  
  
Kurama: *pushes* she's not coming off!  
  
Camera minions: and we're back on in 5.4.3.2.1.. Go!  
  
Bat wings: Alright, now it is time for our final guests, Yuusuke Uremeshi, and Botan! Come on out!  
  
Botan: *walk out and wave*  
  
Yuusuke: *waves*  
  
Bat wings: Botan, who do you love, Yuusuke or Koenma?  
  
Botan: who could love a toddler? And Yuusuke is to busy staring at you.  
  
Yuusuke: She had no clothes on!  
  
*Bat wings looks like Jenny in her beast form from Bloody Roar*  
  
Bat wings: *covers body with wings, hiding Hiei as well* Yuusuke, do you loooovve Keiko?  
  
Yuusuke: Yup, I love her like the rest of my whores!  
  
Keiko: *appears out of nowhere and slaps the shit out of Yuusuke*  
  
Fox ears: Botan, why do you pack around that oar anyway?  
  
Botan: So I can beat random people over the head with it, like this! *smacks audience member # 89*  
  
Bat wings: Well, Botan is terrorizing the audience, Hiei fell asleep, and Fox ears is attempting to find Kurama and Karasu who are doing God knows what-  
  
Fox Ears: *from a distance* MY CHILDHOOD!  
  
Bat wings: tune in next week where we will dare the cast of Outlaw Star! So until next time, I'm Bat wings-  
  
Fox ears: And I'm Fox ears and this has been-  
  
Both: THE ANIME TORTURE REALM!  
  
*Dancing hamsters run in and dance with Bat wings and Fox ears to Linkin Park's 'In The End'*  
  
Bat wings: take care now-  
  
Fox ears: Bye bye then!  
  
Both: *wave merrily* 


	2. More Insanity And A Dog Bite

Disclaimer: Ok I've already done a disclaimer. And if I'm not mistaken I told you to kiss my ass. But oh well I shall say it again. I do not own any frickin' anime shows. So if you wanna sue me. . ... YOU CAN KISS MY ASS! There! I said it! I said it!  
  
Bat wings: Hello! And welcome back to. THE ANIME TORTURE REALM! I'm Bat wings! . Fox ears? *looks around* Fox ears? . MINIONS! Where's Fox ears?!  
  
Mini dragon from hell: I believe that closet.  
  
Bat wings:-_-. Why?  
  
Mini dragon from hell: I dunno.  
  
Bat wings: my aren't you just helpful. *gets up and walks to closet and opens it* O.o Fox ears! Get out of there! You, too, Vicious!  
  
Fox ears: *stumbles out blushing furiously* Oh! The shows on! My bad.  
  
Vicious: *walks out calmly and smiling the goes over to his post by the chairs*  
  
Bat wings: Fox ears! Didn't I say no making out with our new steves?!  
  
Fox ears: *ears lower in guilt* Yes.  
  
Bat wings: Okay. Now say your line.  
  
Fox ears: *face brightens up and ears perk* And I'm Fox ears!  
  
Bat wings: Today we will be interviewing the cast of Cowboy Bebop!  
  
Fox ears: And. wait, but our steve is from that show!  
  
Bat wings: . Oh well!  
  
Fox ears: Ok! And we will ask them annoying questions and give them dumbass dares until they are driven to insanity! *as soon as she is done saying that her ears flop back down into original position*  
  
Bat wings: . Okay okay! Go get our guest Fox ears!  
  
Fox ears: YAY! *runs to the hallway that leads to the green room and disappears*  
  
Bat wings: And we will be back after this commercial break!  
  
*buzzer sounds off*  
  
Bat wings: *smile fades from her face*  
  
Fox ears: *from distance* GAH! LET GO OF ME DICK!  
  
Bat wings: *sighs* Fox ears. *walks down hallway to green room*  
  
~*green room*~  
  
*in green room Edward *it's a girl* is crawling around on the chairs while Spike is holding Fox ears upside down by her tail*  
  
Fox ears: *arms crossed in a huff and using them to keep her shirt from falling down* Bat wings, can you tell him to PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN?!  
  
Bat wings: *walks up to Spike and punches him in the jaw*  
  
Spike: *drops Fox ears, stumbles, and swallows his cigarette* Ow! . GULP! BLECK!  
  
Bat wings: No smoking.  
  
Fox ears: *lands on her head* OWY! *scrambles to her feet and runs over to Spike and kicks him in the knee* TAKE THAT!  
  
Bat wings: Fox ears! Just grab Faye and let's go!  
  
Fox ears: Ok! *grabs Faye's arm and drags her down the hall after Bat wings*  
  
~*on stage*~  
  
Bat wings: *sits down in chair along with Fox ears and sat Faye down on a couch*  
  
Camera man: And we're on in 5. 4. 3. 2. 1!  
  
Bat wings: Hi! And welcome back from the commercial break! Our first guest is none other than Faye Valentine!  
  
Audience: *claps*  
  
Faye's wild fan group *men only*: *howls and barks*  
  
Fox ears: Now we are going to dare Faye to do something after we get a couple questions from the audience!  
  
*audience raise hands waving them madly*  
  
Fox ears: . ummmm. You!  
  
Audience member #645: Have you ever been screwed by Spike or Jet?!  
  
Faye: O.o Aren't you eager to know!  
  
645: ANSWER!  
  
Faye: ;_P FINE! Spike. yes.  
  
Audience: *howls, yelps, yells "YOU OWE ME $20 BOBBY!" , and ew's*  
  
Faye: And Jet.  
  
Audience: DON'T SAY YES!  
  
Faye: =o.o= yes.  
  
Audience: *starts barfing* OMG! BLEH!  
  
Some audience member: THAT'S ANOTHER $50, BOBBY!  
  
Fox ears: I'm gonna die.  
  
Bat wings: . disturbing. but now that we know that both Spike "and" Jet have had enough of Faye, let's have her do a dare! . "not" including them.  
  
Fox ears: *is recovering* . *gasp* .  
  
Bat wings: Okay then. I guess I have to take Fox ears jo-  
  
Fox ears: O.O NOOOOOO!  
  
Bat wings: -_-  
  
Fox ears: Now Faye must. must. *leans over to Bat wings and whispers* What is she suppose to do?  
  
Bat wings: I don't know! I thought you had an idea.  
  
Fox ears: 9.9  
  
Bat wings: *light bulb* And now it is time for a commercial break!  
  
Fox ears: Good save-  
  
Bat wings:- but there go our ratings.  
  
Fox ears: Yup. down the drain. they're dead. in the grave. gone to heaven. or hell.  
  
Bat wings: That's enough  
  
Fox ears: Yeah.  
  
Bat wings: So, got any ideas?  
  
Fox ears: Nope!  
  
Vicious: *leans over to them* May I make a suggestion?  
  
*massive whispering and giggles*  
  
~*2 minutes later*~  
  
Vicious: *straightens up and stands at post smiling*  
  
Fox ears: You get extra pay for that!  
  
Bat wings: You are all sick, perverted SOB's. but we have to use it.  
  
Camera man: and we're on in 5. 4. a screw it! GO!  
  
Bat wings: Welcome back from our commercial break!  
  
Fox ears: Now we shall tell Faye her dare!  
  
Faye: Spare me.  
  
Fox ears: I shall ignore that request and continue! Faye must be attacked and frenched by these specially trained Faye Frenching and Attacking cows which I have now clue where they came from but we are using them anyways!  
  
Vicious: *look up at ceiling innocently*  
  
Faye: O.o o.O O.O o.o I WON'T!  
  
Bat wings: Ah! But you must-  
  
Fox ears:- or suffer your clothes- *pulls out lighter*  
  
Bat wings: - and your hair! *pulls out container of green hair dye and electric shaver*  
  
Faye: M-m-m-m-m-my clothes?! . and my hair?!  
  
Both: *nod evilly*  
  
Faye: Shit. Fine.  
  
Fox ears: *like from Austin Powers* BRING OUT THE COWS!  
  
*specially trained cows come out of hallway to the right and attack Faye*  
  
Faye: GAH! *kicks one cow in the gut sending him flying into the camera*  
  
Bat wings: OFF!  
  
*cows climb off of Faye*  
  
Bat wings: Well you did not do the dare properly! You resisted! *claps hands together twice*  
  
*two people come out of the same hallway as the cows. One a hair stylist and the other a pyro*  
  
Pyro: *grabs Faye and drags her off the set*  
  
Faye: Nooooo!  
  
Fox ears: *yells after her* YOU'RE PAYING FOR THAT CAMERA!  
  
Bat wings: . right. Well, we'll be back after this commercial break! And we will have our next guest!  
  
*buzzer sounds off*  
  
Fox ears: *this time her smile fades* I need caffeine. and a barf bag.  
  
Bat wings: *chucks mountain dew code red at Fox ears*  
  
Fox ears: *gets hit in the head with the md then catches it as it falls and chugs it* . still need a barf bag.  
  
Bat wings: ;_P Now go get Spike!  
  
Fox ears: ;_P You're coming with.  
  
Bat wings: Ohhhh! You're scared he's gonna grab you again!  
  
Fox ears: Am not! *grabs Bat wings hand and drags her down the hall* Come one!  
  
*both walk into green room*  
  
*sound of a girl screaming, a loud smack, and then a male "ow"*  
  
Fox ears: *storms out followed by Bat wings who is dragging Spike behind her* THAT'S IT! I HATE HIM!  
  
Spike: You have a cigarette?  
  
Both: No.  
  
Spike: Damn.  
  
Fox ears: I need a Code Red. *pulls out a Mountain Dew Code Red and starts chugging but gets half way through and the count down starts causing her to spew red soda everywhere*  
  
3.  
  
Both: O.O AH! QUICK! QUICK! QUICK! SIT DOWN! *shove Spike into a seat*  
  
2.  
  
*Fox ears and Bat wings collide into each other while heading while heading for their seats*  
  
1.  
  
*both are sitting down feeling for their pulses*  
  
Go!  
  
Bat wings: Welcome back!  
  
Fox ears: And our next guest! Spike Spiegal!  
  
Spike fan group: AHHHH! WE LOVE YOU SPIKE!  
  
Vicious: *counting the girls in Spikes fan group then in his* O.o *starts counting again*  
  
Bat wings: Now do we have any questions from the audience?  
  
Audience member #285: *stands up without being called on* WILL YOU MARRY ME?!  
  
Spike: Uh. *cigarette that he some how found hanging from his bottom lip as his mouth gapes open*  
  
*more girls start standing up and shouting stuff like "DO YOU WANT TO SEE IF YOU CAN FIT IN MY PANTS?!"*  
  
Bat wings: *puts her face in her hand* Fox ears.  
  
Fox ears: Vicious.  
  
Vicious: *walks up to the screaming girls and throws them in their seats* *smirks*  
  
Girls: Oooooo! What big muscles you have! *all cling to Vicious*  
  
Vicious: *enjoying it all*  
  
Fox ears: O.O *launches on the clinging girls* HE'S MINE!  
  
Faye: *runs through naked and her hair is partially shaved off and has been dyed green then exits through the other door way*  
  
Spike: *eyes follow her then he cat growls and run after her*  
  
Bat wings: 9.9 Great.  
  
Fox ears: *is in front of Vicious forcing him to back up while she wards off daring girls*  
  
Vicious: *is forced to sit in a chair by Fox Ears*  
  
Bat wings: Well, *claps hands together* now that peace has been restored. THWACK! *hits rogue girl with a newspaper roll* . we shall continue. Fox ears, get the next guest.  
  
Fox ears: ;_P You go do it! I'm comfy! Besides I don't trust them to keep their hands off of Vicious and I don't trust him to not give them a reason! *is sitting happily on top of a pile of girls who have been knocked unconscious and is occasionally bapping a few over the head*  
  
Bat wings: -.- . what ever. *walks off to the green room*  
  
~*green room*~  
  
Bat wings: Ein. You're next.  
  
Ein: Bark bark  
  
Bat wings: . right. *walks out of the green room with Ein trotting along happily behind her*  
  
~*on stage*~  
  
Fox ears: *is attacking a girl*  
  
Bat wings: I need a vacation.  
  
Fox ears: *is victorious, then trips down the pile of people and lands sprawled out over Ein*  
  
Ein: YELP!  
  
Fox ears: *sits up* Ow. my ears. *her foofy ears twitch insanely*  
  
Bat wings: *picks fox ears up and puts her in her seat then puts Ein in her lap*  
  
Ein: groooowwwwlll. CHOMP  
  
~*somewhere deep within the studios many corridors and rooms*~  
  
*high pitched bone chilling scream can be heard*  
  
~*back on stage*~  
  
Fox ears: *is hopping around trying to shake Ein off her hand*  
  
Counter dude: 3.  
  
Fox ears: *is on her back trying to kick Ein off her hand*  
  
Counter dude: 2.  
  
Fox ears: *is biting Ein back now*  
  
Counter dude: 1.  
  
Fox ears: *runs around with Ein still holding onto her hand and crashes into the camera as it turns on*  
  
*camera falls over and feet run around in front of the lense and some sparks come from a wire on the camera that broke*  
  
*more people running as a fire starts on the set*  
  
Fox ears: SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!  
  
Bat wings: *bends down so her face is in front of the lense* SORRY WE HAVE TO GO SEE YOU NEXT TIME ON THE ANI- *is cut short by a beam falling and she screams and runs*  
  
*everything goes black*  
  
Note: Sry we didn't have the cast of Outlaw Star. Me and Bat wings thought it up but I've forgotten most of it so I have to consult her first. 


End file.
